Monday, May 14, 2007 Boobs & Tubes (or where's my drivers license?)

This weekend Craig’s sister Casey graduated from Texas State University in San Marcos, TX. We drove down to New Braunfels on Friday & stayed at The Hideout on the Horseshoe cabins located right on the Guadalupe River. The cabins were really nice & cozy. We had rented three cabins to house all of us… Let’s see, there was Craig & I, Ron & JoEl, Casey, Brennan & Courtney, Michael & his wife & daughter, Patrick & his wife & 3 kids, and Casey’s friends Annie, Diana, Elaine, Sam, Chris, Aaron, Jonathan, & Jason. OK, that makes 23…

Friday night we hung out on the balcony, made fajitas, drank a lot, & got to catch up with everyone that we haven’t seen in a while. JoEl was playing drinking games with Casey & her friends. Michael kept playing this raunchy song called “Titty Bangin’” by Bob Schneider over & over.

Saturday morning we drove the graduation ceremony. It was a nice ceremony, a bit long, but nice. Afterwards we all met outside to get some pictures on the campus lawn. Congratulations Casey!!!!


We then headed back to the cabins & made ham, turkey, & pesto panini sandwiches for lunch. They were soooo good! We then got ready to go tubing down the river. We all signed our waivers & got loaded onto the buses to take us up river. We were dropped off at the start of the horseshoe & floated back down to the cabins. It took about 1 ½ hours. There were some mild rapids, but mostly it was pretty smooth. Casey brought tons of beer & Jello shots. By the time we got back, everyone was feeling pretty fancy. Once we got back we decided to go again, so about half the group took the bus back up river again. This time we got to hear a story about one of Craig’s brothers. Several years ago 2 of the brothers were out having a good time picking up girls in a Dallas nightclub when one of them suddenly had to go to the bathroom. They searched for an open bathroom, but once they got through a long line, the toilet was out in the open, not even a stall. So they went looking for another bathroom, then after a while he said that the feeling had passed & they went back to the chick hunt. All of a sudden the one brother disappears. He shows back up a while later & announces that they have to leave right now. They get out to the parking lot & he has crapped himself. But even worse, he has shit all over his clothes, his hands, his face, & pretty much everywhere else. Apparently he had tried to rip off the soiled underwear & made the whole situation worse. The other brother kept teasing him, which caused the shitty brother to chase him around with the soiled underwear… OK, gross story, but it was fucking funny at the time…

Anyway, after that story, 2 freaky hick guys wearing army helmets came up to guys in a small boat. They somehow convinced Sam to tie her tube to their boat so they could give her a ride. I’m all thinking “that’s probably not such a good idea!” So she ties onto them & they start off & keep going & going until we can’t even see them anymore. We all got panicky for a while thinking she could have just become a kidnap victim. They finally brought her back after about 15 minutes & kept joking about how we could have her back for $40. We’re all like WTF!?!?!? She finally untied herself from the boat & rejoined our group. We finally get back to the shore & most everyone heads back up to the cabin. During this time I was walking through the water & slipped on the rocks & busted my shin... OUCH!!! That fucking hurt. Casey, Annie, & Sam decide to stay behind & keep drinking on the river. Craig & I start carrying the tubes back up the stairs when we meet a girl from one of the other cabins. We said hello & asked how she was doing. She just went off on this whole story about how her boyfriend will not give her any cock & she is totally mad at him. She then tells us that her boyfriend has been flirting with a friend of hers the whole trip. In fact her friend had hid her driver’s license somewhere on her body & asked the guy to find it for her. He did find it & it was in her panties. The girl said that her friend may do that, but that she was not going to hide her DL in her pussy just so her boyfriend could swipe it like an ATM. Keep in mind that we’ve never met her before, she using very descriptive conversation, & suddenly we know way too much about her vagina at this point, as well as her boyfriend & slutty friend’s business. Craig & I were flipping out on this kooz! She went on & on about the whole pussy thing until we got back to the cabins. At this point she made sure to ask Craig & I to drop by later for drinks. UMMM NO!!! We got back & told everyone about the girl & Michael made the comment that being with her would be like “swinging a baseball bat in a 3 car garage.” EEEWWWWWW!!! I went back down to check on Casey & tell her about it. I’m sitting there talking to the girls & I noticed that Sam’s top had come undone & her nipple was hanging out right in front of me. I alerted her to the exposure & had her promptly put it away. The got out of their tubes & they slipped & fell in a pile. They looked like a pile of fish flailing around on the shore.

The rest of the night was a lot of fun. We just hung out & had barbeque & beers. We also got to hear why Jonathan is called “The Clapper.” Apparently he has a special talent that we were not aware of. His friends call him “The Clapper” because he can make his balls slap against his ass by swing back & forth so it makes a loud clapping sound. I don’t know how low your inhibitions have to get before you feel the need to share this talent with a group of friends, but apparently it can happen. On many occasions, so I was told. Although, this weekend, we did not get to witness his skills…. Pity…









On Sunday we headed back toward home & stopped at my mom’s house. It was Mother’s Day as well as her birthday. I had sent her flowers for Mother’s Day & I got her a picnic pack for her birthday so she can use it on her history & cemetery travels. Happy Mom Day & Birthday, mom!!!!!

It was a great weekend & we all had a fun time. Now I think we all need a couple days of rest. And my leg still fucking hurts…